The vast sea of possibility 🌊
Plus: My year in books. 📚
Sometimes a message comes at just the right time, like when you’re sautéing vegetables while listening to a podcast after spending the afternoon wrestling with your life’s calling.
The new year naturally prompts us to reflect back and look forward. Towards the end of December, I spent a few quiet hours reflecting back on 2024. I felt clear in what I had learned, who had showed up for me (what my community looks like), where I fell short with some of my goals, and what 2024 had brought into my life.
But looking forward has felt like being stranded in the sea with no lighthouse, with no “knowns” pointing my way. This is the first year in the past decade that I’ve started a new calendar year without a larger project in the making—whether a book or film, or building a company. A few things didn’t pan out as I thought they would, and I find myself feeling like I’m flailing, unanchored, grasping for something that might land me on the shore again.
Simultaneously, I haven’t quite adjusted to the changes I made for myself this past year to free up time. This has forced a recalibration of my mindset that tends to shy away from too much stillness or simplicity. Usually, a certain degree of busyness (I don’t love that word, but let’s use it for now) keeps me feeling alive, intellectually stimulated and, well, happy. I’m looking for that sweet spot that lights me up without overwhelming me.
I recognized in my year-end reflection that I need to release the limiting belief that my worth depends on what I’m creating—on the outward perception that I am working towards something tangible. I can see how this plays into a scarcity mindset, that opportunities won’t come my way unless I’m putting myself out there in big, “visible” ways. And yet, a byproduct—as I’ve reduced commitments, cut down my presence on social media, and refined my life this past year—has been a shrinking of my community and realm of influence and responsibility towards others.
I find myself in a liminal space, unsure of how I’ll emerge, or when.
Back to that message that came at the right time, it was a conversation between Oprah and Ina Garten. I was in the middle of making dinner, feeling adrift and confused about what this next year would hold, when Oprah said something I had to rewind and listen to again:
“I believe that a lot of people are looking for purpose in their lives. And most people think that it's some big thing that you're going to find out there somewhere when, really, every day you're creating purpose. And if you look back on your life and connect the dots of your life, that thread that connects the dots would have been your purpose. Even though you may have never defined it for yourself, there is a thread that connects the dots of all of our lives.”
Having been a freelancer and entrepreneur for the last 18 years, it’s new for me not to be building something or working towards a larger goal. I’ll admit this feels like a threat to my purpose and thus my value as a human. But Oprah’s quote helped to reframe this for me. It also resonated because, when I look back at my life’s work, and the many connected dots that led me there, I know it to be true. I just needed the reminder.
With each passing day I am becoming more comfortable with this space and the idea that every day I’m creating purpose, even if I can’t see, feel, or define it. I still have this sensation that I’m floating in the ocean, but when I see it as an ocean of possibility it feels like a good place to be, especially as I start a new year.
I promised myself that, whatever came next, I wanted to move into it with more intention, discretion and rootedness. Since I’m floating for now, it seems like the perfect time to explore, reflect and go inward so that I’m ready when my feet touch the earth once more.
Meghan J. Ward is an outdoor, travel and adventure writer based in Banff, Canada, a Fellow of the Royal Canadian Geographical Society, and the author of Lights to Guide Me Home. Meghan has written several books and produced content for films, anthologies, blogs and some of North America’s top outdoor, fitness and adventure publications.
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What’s caught my attention lately… ✨
My year in books is below! I’m not a fast reader, by any measure — and currently have several books on the go. Overall, I enjoyed all of these but here are the front-runners:
Best Fiction: The Forgotten Garden (one of my favourite books ever).
Best Non-Fiction (Memoir): It’s toss-up between Inside the Belly of an Elephant (a modern travel memoir) and Shackleton’s South (historic).
Best of Non-Fiction (wellness/knowledge): I loved both Atlas of the Heart and The Myth of Normal. The first because our lives need better language and a better understanding of the emotional realm, and the second because we need to debunk the myths that our culture is telling us as truths. Both of these authors have had a big influence on my life and thinking.
Check these out too… 🙌
Lights to Guide Me Home - my memoir (reviews welcome on Amazon and Goodreads)
The Wonders That I Find - my children’s book
My Email Newsletter - updates about my books, projects, and 1:1 coaching
I am an eight-generation Canadian and a descendent of British, Scottish and German settlers living, working, and recreating outdoors in Treaty 7 Territory — the homelands and gathering place for the Niitsitapi from the Blackfoot Confederacy, including the Siksika, Kainai, and Piikani First Nations; the Îyârhe Nakoda of the Chiniki, Bearspaw, and Goodstoney First Nations; the Tsuut’ina First Nation; the homeland of the Métis and Otipemisiwak Métis Government of the Métis Nation of Alberta, and many others. I am doing my utmost, both personally and professionally, to deepen my understanding of the history of Indigenous peoples and the impacts of colonialism — past and present.
Meghan - what a great quote about our life as a series of connected dots! I've only come to that realisation a little while ago (and I'm 68!), good that you gained that insight much earlier. Indeed, I haven't had any major discoveries/events in my life, at least not in my own view. I tend to feel that I've stumbled into one situationand clambering out of the previous one. Lots of luck involved. And so I see my life (so far) as a series of episodes... If I ever get to write up my life experiences into a book, it will probably be a collection of short stories. Mostly funny, I guess. And for you: Please keep finding new and fun "dots" to connect into your life! And please keep telling us about them.
This was exactly what I needed to read - it really resonated. Thank you. I have spent the past couple of years working to create more white space and need reminders periodically that my worth isn't defined by how long my to-do list is and how much I produce!