I am a father of 3 sons, not a mother of 2 young daughters. But your story nevertheless resonates. Our boys are now grown up, each of them has found his own niche, each in a different country.
When they were (much) younger, we had the sense that we were really caring for them. Later, this became guiding, as they slowly developed their own lives. Now I am in my 60s, I still try to guide them (haha) but I also feel some freedom that my life is my own again.
While at the same time, I am increasingly aware that nobody lives forever, and one day, my legacy to this world will be our kids and how they live their lives. I am already proud of them. And I am quite sure that you will also be proud of the little humans that you have created and guided into the world, and how they will live in it.
That conflict between holding on to them, and letting go, is necessary. And how you manage and time that process, is what builds their characters.
(I sound like an all-knowing psychologist or educator, instead of the semi-retired geologist and consultant that I am :).)
Parents may not be official psychologists or educators, but I think they have wisdom that comes with a unique perspective. :)
I can't quite imagine what life looks like in a few decades. But as I write this today I've been through a weekend that resembles my feelings in this excerpt, even if my kids are now 5 years older. I've found that my best approach when it's a rough patch is to be honest about that with my kids without burdening them. Yesterday I had to tell my ten-year-old "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the situation," so that she could have some context to the emotions coming out of me.
I hope to leave a legacy behind that I'm proud of. Exemplifying that no human is perfect is perhaps just as important as encouraging my kids to do their best. If anything, it takes the pressure off.
I am a father of 3 sons, not a mother of 2 young daughters. But your story nevertheless resonates. Our boys are now grown up, each of them has found his own niche, each in a different country.
When they were (much) younger, we had the sense that we were really caring for them. Later, this became guiding, as they slowly developed their own lives. Now I am in my 60s, I still try to guide them (haha) but I also feel some freedom that my life is my own again.
While at the same time, I am increasingly aware that nobody lives forever, and one day, my legacy to this world will be our kids and how they live their lives. I am already proud of them. And I am quite sure that you will also be proud of the little humans that you have created and guided into the world, and how they will live in it.
That conflict between holding on to them, and letting go, is necessary. And how you manage and time that process, is what builds their characters.
(I sound like an all-knowing psychologist or educator, instead of the semi-retired geologist and consultant that I am :).)
Parents may not be official psychologists or educators, but I think they have wisdom that comes with a unique perspective. :)
I can't quite imagine what life looks like in a few decades. But as I write this today I've been through a weekend that resembles my feelings in this excerpt, even if my kids are now 5 years older. I've found that my best approach when it's a rough patch is to be honest about that with my kids without burdening them. Yesterday I had to tell my ten-year-old "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the situation," so that she could have some context to the emotions coming out of me.
I hope to leave a legacy behind that I'm proud of. Exemplifying that no human is perfect is perhaps just as important as encouraging my kids to do their best. If anything, it takes the pressure off.