About half a year ago I did something so stupid and embarrassing, Iām not sure I told anyone that it happened. Months went by and I hadnāt thought about it at all until last week while I was walking the beach in Costa Rica. For some reason, I knew it needed to be my next Field Notes story. I wasnāt sure exactly why, only that there was a greater lesson embedded in it. And itāll probably be downright entertaining for you.
[Clears throat and braces herself because she canāt believe sheās about to tell you this story.]
It all started when I drove to the Calgary International Airport to pick up my father when heād come from my hometown of Ottawa for a visit. Usually, I book my parents on an airport shuttle, which conveniently brings them straight to our home in Banff. But, due to the pandemic, the shuttles werenāt running. Paul had done all of the pick-ups (Iām not a huge fan of driving), so to give him a break I decided to do this one.
That being said, it had been a while since Iād picked someone up from the airport.
I got to Arrivals just fine but then noticed I was early. I could park in the short-term parking, I decided, and walk in to get him. Thatāll be nice.
So, I took the longer-than-expected ramp towards the short-term garage. Ahead, I saw some black and yellow striped barriers that hung down from the ceiling to indicate the height of the garage, and the maximum height of vehicles that would fit in said garage. A thought flashed through my mind: āI wonder if Iāll be OK with this rooftop carrier on top of the car?ā (We keep it there permanently, and Iād yet to have any issues with it in other parking garages.) But the thought fled as quickly as it came. Certainly, theyād accounted for cars with rooftop carriers, I decided.
I failed to remember that itās predominantly the mountain/outdoorsy people who have rooftop carriers permanently affixed to their vehicles. Had I watched carefully on my way to the airport, I would have seen that my vehicle was very much an exception on the city roads.
Anyways, you can see where this is going. I slid under the first striped barrier with just a ānudge.ā That one was made of wood, and kind of swung with the car. Sweet.
I got into the parking garage, no problem, and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw there was another striped barrier up ahead, a metal one, but it looked flimsy enough. I had some doubts but proceeded anyway. As I drove past it, I donāt know if the barrier moved but it certainly scraped the rooftop carrier with a low-toned and very loud grinding noise. Hm.
By this point, I was now very aware of the potential predicament I had gotten myself into. I climbed out onto the pavement to look for damage on the carrier and actually couldnāt see any. Whew. I looked around for other vehicles that might have witnessed this ridiculousness and didnāt see anyone (I must have created some serious entertainment for whoever was watching the security cameras). And then I looked ahead on my current trajectory.
Could I make it past here? š¤·āāļø
I still hadnāt come to terms with the fact that MY VEHICLE WOULD NOT FIT IN THE PARKING GARAGE.
But then I saw it, a concrete barrier that hung down from the ceiling right where the liftgate comes up once you press that little red button and get your ticket. There was no getting past this barrier, which looked very, very solid.
Now I knew it was a race against the clock to reverse my way out of this parking garage before another vehicle came in behind me.
Let me tell you, Iām not the best at driving in reverse, so I have to give myself credit for that 150-200 metres that I drove backwards, out of the garage (with another low-tone grinding noise of the second barrier), under the first barrier, and then around a curved bend and back onto the main road, if you can call it that, which leads to Arrivals.
Can you visualize whatās happening here!? š
I tried to catch the cellphone lot but missed that entrance, so snuck into the very end of the taxi line. I wasnāt about to drive the circuit again. My heart was pounding from my escapades into the parking garage (Why did I even try that? Can you imagine if Iād gotten stuck!?). There I waited for my dad to text me saying heād landed. I was still so early that for thirty minutes I hung with the taxi drivers in my white RAV4 with a rooftop carrier, ready with a lame excuse if anyone asked me to move.
My dad eventually arrived, and I picked him up, right off the curb, no problem. I should have just done that in the first place.
I tell you this story because I think it can be mined for metaphors and life lessons. Iāve already found a bunch of them, mainly along the lines of what happens when we ignore our gut feelings or even overt warning signsāhello, yellow and black barriers!!
But today Iāve landed on this lesson:
I am a persistent person. I can persevere through a lot. I can have barriers thrown up in my face and I will find a way around them. I will convince myself that nothing can get in my way. [Iāll be honest, at one point in that parking garage, I actually thought about taking the carrier off the vehicle, parking, and then retrieving it laterā¦ until I realized I couldnāt lift it on my own.] š
But as I gain more life experience, I am learning to distinguish when persistence is useful and when it leads us to a trap.
Sometimes this feels like distinguishing black from onyx or obsidian. ā« Yeah?
The reality is that we donāt have any guarantees that our hard work will pay off, that the time weāre putting into a friendship will be worth it, that if we just send one more pitch weāll finally get someoneās attention.
For me, though, the distinguishing factor is how I feel inside about whatās happening on the outside.
In the past, Iāve persisted in friendships even though I felt disappointed by the lack of reciprocity or consideration. Iāve persisted in jobs that were far too stressful. Iāve persisted in keeping 150 balls in the air when 110 of them would mean nothing to me five years later.
Had I realized how stressed, negative, and resentful those things were making me, I would have gotten the hell out sooner. But I wasnāt listening. Had I truly checked in with myself at that parking garage, I probably would have been backing up the ramp before I even entered the actual garage.
Now, when I add something to my life, whether itās a person or project, I move carefully, slowly, and deliberately. I check in at each step.
Sometimes we can proceed, even with a barrier in the way, because there is a way around it. For example, in the seven years that I was working on my book, I confronted many barriersāpsychological, physical, emotional, financial, and more. Each time, I dismantled the barriers or found a creative way around them. I checked in with myself constantly. The inner journey, as demanding as it was, became a positive part of the whole experience, which ultimately made it worth it.
Again, sometimes itās tough to distinguish whether itās better to suffer in the short term for long-term gains or to move on even if it means making a great sacrifice. Sometimes we just canāt know. Whatever happens, Iām working at not kicking myself or dwelling on it when it turned out to be a bad decision. Mine it for lessons, and move on.
It always goes back to the same thing for me. Life is short. I donāt want to spend my precious time complaining about something or needlessly suffering, especially when I have the power to change it.
Itās tough to know when to stop and when to keep going. How do you discern between the two?
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Whatās caught my attention latelyā¦ āØ
A Gentleman in Moscow, by Amor Towles, is one of the smartest novels Iāve ever read. This book defies description for me. It was a slow read because some of the contents felt quite foreign (each page seemed to have a word or concept I wasnāt familiar with). But it didnāt matter; as a reader, I was so totally engrossed in the world of Count Alexander Rostov, Towles could have been describing a salt shaker and managed to make me care. A truly unique book.
Check these out tooā¦ š
Mailing List - MemoirĀ - Join my list to find out more about the travelogue/memoir coming out in Fall 2022.
The Wonders That I Find - My childrenās book is now available! šæ
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