On integrity, deadlines, and accountability. ⏰
Plus: How our family trips abroad have helped us with 'stay at home' orders. 🗿
I’m a stubborn person when it comes to following through on the things I’m committed to. Integrity means a great deal to me. But when it comes to the really hard stuff, I need a kick in the rear. I need a deadline. I need accountability.
Don’t we all?
Many years ago, I was at an impasse in a relationship with someone very important in my life. That impasse had led to silence for nearly a year. I mostly felt misunderstood but saw no way of clearing the air. After talking it over (again) with a friend, he said, “Meghan, you need a deadline. I’m giving you until August 31 to do something about it.” He was right. Like it or not, if I wanted to take steps forward I couldn’t wait for the other person to do it.
So, I did. I started with a handwritten letter and verbalized my feelings. I also set some boundaries (perhaps one of the first times I realized that boundaries were within my power, too). That opened the door to communication.
In the past few weeks, I’ve been reintroduced to the idea of accountability and how it applies to all the aspects of my life:
I’m currently in a fitness challenge with two others. We hold each other accountable on WhatsApp through a daily thread. For 30 days I’m committed to at least 30 minutes of walking, yoga and fitness (I usually do more). The finish line happens to be my 37th birthday. 🙌
Back in November, I signed up for the Coached Author Program at Scribe. I have my own self-imposed deadlines for my memoir, but being part of a community helps to hold me to them.
Now when I need to have tricky conversations, I tell one or two people (completely unrelated or connected to the situation) about it, and then I have accountability to see things through.
These are just some of the ways I’m using accountability in my life. And so far it’s helping me stick to the things I know will make my life better, easier and more fulfilling.
Let me know in the Comments if there is a technique that works well for you!
Below: How our family trips abroad have helped us through the pandemic. 🌎
Gotta hand that one to Glennon Doyle. She may not have said it first, but she certainly popularized it. 😊
What’s caught my attention lately… ✨
The Beautiful Writers Podcast with Linda Sivertsen. This one is made for writers, so it may be more applicable to that industry. But for those of you interested in podcasting, I also recommend you give it a listen. Linda is a wonderful host.
3 Things I Learned From Family Travel 🌎
…and how it’s helped us while we’re stuck at home during a pandemic.
Ever since we had kids, Paul and I have been dedicated to taking at least one family trip abroad every year. We save up so that we can spend a few weeks away. We aim to go off the beaten track when we can—to places like Rapa Nui, Malta, Polynesia, and Belize—and love the more adventurous experiences.
Well, I don’t need to tell you what the past year has looked like (damn, I miss travelling!). But one thing that surprised me was just how much those trips prepared us to cope with the uncertainties and challenges of the pandemic.
We still have our bad days, but these are the lessons that have served us well:
Resilience can be built. ✨ I like to think of resilience as a bank account. Some of our trips have had absolutely gruelling days and uncomfortable experiences. We exposed our girls to these environments on purpose, but the strength they gained served them well when new uncertainties were forced upon them (and us) this past year. I am confident our kids will be stronger after all they’ve been through.
Focus on what you can control. ✨ When we’re travelling, there’s a lot out of our control but there is also a lot in our control (how we prepare, how we react, how we choose to communicate with each other). Focusing on what we can control helps us to feel positive and capable. One way we’ve taken control is by planning things to look forward to that are within the restrictions we’re living under right now (a mini adventure with a local hotel stay and takeout, for instance).
Kids are looking to us. ✨ We’ve had our moments while travelling where we’ve lost our cool (insert high-stress moments driving in Malta or sleep-deprivation getting the best of us). That will happen (we’re human!). But I’ve noticed that as long as we’re keeping our cool, our kids can feel more stable and secure. It’s hard, but we can control how much stress and fear seeps into our household. This is something we’ve been particularly intentional about.
Rapa Nui, February 2019. Photo: Paul Zizka Photography.
Check these out too… 🙌
The Wonders That I Find - My children’s book is available for pre-order!
My Email Newsletter - Yes, different from Substack. This Newsletter is more for updates on my books, various projects and more (though I might mention them from time to time on here!)
Waypoints for Writers - My resources for fellow writers, from how to get articles published to productivity tools and webinars.
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