Minutes vs. Moments ✨
Reality check: we're not getting out of this world alive.
“I want to be alive until I’m not.”
- Kate Bowler
How would you live if you were given a diagnosis that meant you only had a few months left on this planet?
This is a question that best-selling author, mother, and professor, Kate Bowler, had to face—head-on—when she was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35. Fortunately, she survived that ordeal and now shares the wisdom she gained through the experience. I have listened to her podcast, Everything Happens For a Reason, and also heard her speak on numerous others (gosh, she has the most soothing voice). Recently I heard her on Glennon Doyle’s We Can Do Hard Things (linked below) and something she said really struck a chord with me.
“It’s this very strange thing we all have, where we’re all handed this whole pile of Minutes and then, every now and then, they transform into Moments…. You feel like the whole world could pause for just a second to help you catch your breath.”
Now, we can’t turn all of our Minutes into Moments. It’s just not possible. Bowler says it’s like fireflies, blinking on and off. In the podcast, she also describes the lie of “living in the present”—that, let’s not kid ourselves, some things in life are just mundane, even soul-sucking. Things like estate planning (which I was doing this past week), filing taxes, booking appointments, or getting a cavity filled.
But if I’m going to circle back to the initial question here—what it would be like if you knew your expiry date—would that change our perspective on all those Minutes?
Certainly, I think I’d waste less time and stop doing things that didn’t matter in the long run. I’d spend more distraction-free time with my kids. I’d say the things that were in my heart. The list goes on.
Those are all things that I could be better at, even if I still had 50 years ahead of me.
But the reality is that, while I’m alive, I can’t avoid the tasks involved with being an adult. So I think it’s about surrendering to the mundane. That it’s as much a part of what it means to live as the Moments that surprise us.
And maybe acknowledging that life isn’t always awesome makes the awesome Moments that much more ah-mazing.
I find this so liberating, to not have to pretend that opening bills and paying them was the greatest gift in my week. Of course, I’m grateful that this means I have things in my life like a car to drive or a house to live in. Avoiding a sense of dread about them will keep me buoyant. But not putting pressure to be a certain way in those Minutes frees up my energy for when the transcendent Moments arrive.
I love that Moments have magic in them: the unexpected, the joy-filled, the things you could never have planned for, those precious seconds when the sun spills through the trees and splits into a million rays.
The harsh truth is that one doesn’t actually need to stare death in the face to consider the reality that death is in the cards for all of us. As the Rose/Williams song goes, we’re not getting out of this world alive. So, how do we stay “alive” amidst all those Minutes?
It’s a question I’m still pondering (and I’d love your thoughts on it). But perhaps it comes down to this: simply acknowledging our mortality is a start. It helps you keep those Minutes down to their essentials. And be wide-eyed and ready for the Moments.
Thanks to everyone who shared their Word of the Year with me. I’ve heard words like “try” and “absorb” are speaking to some of you. How about you? Have you picked your Word of the Year?
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What’s caught my attention lately… ✨
What To Do with Our Short, Precious Life - Glennon Doyle interviews author Kate Bowler about fear and love, cultural cliches, and their love for swear words.
Neurocycle app - This app by Dr. Caroline Leaf has been quite the experience for me. I’m on Day 10 of 21 as of the writing of this newsletter. Essentially, the app guides you through a brain detox in the same way one might detox through a diet. But here it’s all about working on toxic thoughts and rewiring the brain. It’s very cool science! I enjoy the way the lessons build day-by-day, and also the individual “Brain Prep” exercises she offers, which are things I can do every day to help deal with toxic thoughts and behaviours.
Check these out too… 🙌
My Email Newsletter - Yes, different from Substack. This newsletter is for specific updates about my books, projects and 1:1 coaching.
Mailing List - Memoir - Join my list to find out more about the travelogue/memoir coming out in Fall 2022.
The Wonders That I Find - My children’s book is now available! 🌿 I also welcome reviews.
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