I fell flat on my face three days into the New Year 😒
Plus: Choosing a one-word theme for the year. 🌸
I have been skiing since I could walk but the cross-country ski trails near my childhood home in Ottawa were flat, with the odd gentle downhill. I never learned to master downhill skiing on skinny skis (does anybody!?), and it doesn’t feel remotely the same as alpine skiing. On the few occasions that I’ve been in undulating terrain—in the Gatineau Hills or the Rockies—more serious cross-country downhills have resulted in falls or awkward bails almost half the time. I’ve been known to take my skis off and post-hole down the slope. Or stop by sliding into deeper snow on the shoulder.
Or fall.
I thought I had things under control earlier this month when I set off on the Spray River trail for a ski in familiar terrain. I had been going down that same trail once or twice a week. And though the hills scared me, I’d had some successful descents and decided I was finally getting the hang of things. 💪
That is until I approached the final large (and steep) hill on my way back to the car. 😒
Read more below…
There’s me on the Spray River.
What’s caught my attention lately… ✨
The idea of choosing a one-word theme for the year (thanks to Ellen for that suggestion!) I’m usually a dedicated goal-setter but I like the simplicity of this, plus it’s a way of incorporating a few goals into a single reminder. My word of the year is bloom or blossom. 🌸 Maybe I’ll tell you more about that in a future entry.
Continued…
Conditions were fast but I felt confident. I started with my skis parallel and moved to a snowplow when I felt like I was going too fast. And then, my skis crossed. I pitch forward onto the slope, head first. I caught my upper body with my arms, which meant my poles followed. I landed on them and knocked the wind out of my chest. Ouch.
As I unclipped my skis and shook the snow off of my head, I was surprised by how hard and how quickly I went down. I thought I had it! I thought I was going to finish my first ski of 2021 having tackled all the hills without bailing. I awkwardly moved to the side of the trail in case anyone came behind me. After the impact, it hurt to breathe, but I assessed myself head to toe and determined there was likely no serious injury (turns out I probably tore a muscle and may have a hairline rib fracture). 🤦♀️
Eventually, I clipped into my skis and finished the trail. I returned home feeling like I’d had more than the wind knocked out of me and shed a few tears in the garage as I put my equipment away.
I felt defeated.
I felt incapable.
I felt frustrated. 😤
I had been on a good streak: skiing, snowshoeing or walking every day. My Fitbit was reporting my best month in a long time.
Three days into the new year I felt deflated. Physically and emotionally. I felt sorry for myself but also knew there was only one thing I could do:
Pick myself back up again.
For the past 10 months, I’ve been making a choice, every day, to take one day at a time. There are some days I lose sight of that. But each day I try to focus on whatever is essential, any work deadlines I need to meet, eating well, taking care of my family, doing something that brings me joy and tuning into my body and mind to hear what they might need on that particular day.
That means each day might look different from the one before.
It’s not every day you fall flat on your face into the snow. On that day, I needed to honour myself. I kept things low-key with the kids, I went to bed early. I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck. Another low-key day.
It’s been a lesson in overcoming feelings of defeat and trying again, no matter what.
A lesson to kick of 2021 and one I think I’ll be leaning into this year.
P.S. If anyone has any downhill tips for cross-country skiing, I’m all ears! Send me an email or post a comment.
Check these out too… 🙌
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